If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Randomize
