I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Randomize
