All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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