Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
In America we eat man semen.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
