we have officially lost it.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
