You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Randomize
