you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
