Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
im calling her cock vulture from now on
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
