Plan B is the new Plan A
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize