....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
