Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
