Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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