I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
