He asked me if I "almost moaned"
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
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