Me. At least after what I've been through.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
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