Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
