I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
Tornado booty call.. dedication
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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