for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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