u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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