Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
im holly from the hills drunk
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
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