it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
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