Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
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