so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
