How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize