Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Randomize
