I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
i believe in u and ur pee
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize