How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Randomize
