She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
