Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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