I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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