so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
