She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Randomize
