We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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