So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize
