I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
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