Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
