She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Is it because I queefed?
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
