Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Randomize
