yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
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