He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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