I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Randomize