She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
This beer is not sobering me up at all
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize