i permit you to call me
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
