just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
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