I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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