she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
