Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
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