Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
