Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize