The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
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