tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
