I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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