Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Randomize
