So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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