that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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