I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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