Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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