some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
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