Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
