My balls are so social today.
honey bunches of taint.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Randomize
