don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
