You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
he just fucked me for my cheese.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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