What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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