You're my little dorito
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Randomize
